Your Presence is Requested
So, for Christmas this year, I asked Santa Clause for an Apple Watch, Series 5. This thing is one of the coolest pieces of gear I have ever owned. Tracking activity, walkie talkie, ECG, blue tooth control, route tracking, and immediate notification of text or email… Yes, this thing has alerts for the alerts. It will even call 911 for you if your heart rate drops or increases above or below a certain level. As with any piece of gear, I am learning that I must use it responsibly.
Picture this; you are in a meeting with a co-worker, sitting at the dinner table with your family, on a date with your significant other, or in church. Any activity which involves another person and some level of attention. Every few seconds they look at their watch. Is everything okay, you ask? Oh, yes, just a text message, they reply. Another few minutes goes by and they look at their watch again. This time they start talking to it. A few minutes later they look at it and laugh… This continues for the remainder of the time you are with this person. When you leave or finish, how do you feel?
As cool as this watch is, and as convenient as it makes things, it is also another item that we have in 2020 that will distract us from the important things in life… The person who is committing their time to being present with you. Whether personal, professional, spiritual, or any other interaction, we are growing more and more distracted. Phones, watches, and tablets have evolved to help keep us in contact with everything and everyone. This is great in many situations; however, it can have an extremely negative impact in others.
One of the latest personal development items I have been working on is being present. Being present involves a certain degree of awareness, intentional actions, and discipline. It is crazy how we can bounce through a day, from person to person, topic to topic, and sit back at the end of the day and not remember anything except something that was particularly bothersome, uplifting, or caused physical discomfort. We are so distracted and in such a hurry, it becomes almost impossible to be present. Key word is “almost”.
As we all know, if we care enough about something, we will make an effort. That effort will ultimately build over time into success in that area. The effort to be present will not only benefit you but will be extremely beneficial for those with whom you are in contact with daily. Think about it. When was the last time you sat with your spouse or significant other and nobody looked at their phone during the entire time? When was the last time you sat with friends, met with a co-worker, a boss, or your children and nobody was distracted by a piece of technology? Now picture this. You are spending 30 minutes with another human. No distractions, just listening to their words, watching their mannerisms, repeating what they say back to them as questions, just to confirm you understood. Not with the purpose to provide your input or feedback, but just to be present with them. What do you think that would do for that relationship?
Okay, so how do we make it happen? I have learned 3 tips which have helped me or are helping me in this area. I am still progressing; however, I have made significant improvement in recent months.
1. Breathe
What? Breathe? Of course, I am going to breathe, you say… What I mean is what Anese Cavanaugh discusses with Pete Mockeitis in the How to be Awesome at Your Job podcast #493. Pausing and taking 3 deep breaths before walking into that meeting, sitting down for dinner, or dialing into that conference call. Whatever the interaction, take a few seconds to take 3 deep breaths to reboot.
2. Visualize
Take a minute to visualize your audience and the setting. Respect them and see yourself listening to them with purpose to hear them. Picture them on the stage and you in the front row as they are presenting. This will help in preparing you to be present once you are with them. Consider it a warm-up exercise, just like a pitcher in the bullpen, or a basketball player shooting around the court before the game.
3. Speak It
It may sound weird, but when we are jumping from topic to topic, I have found it helpful when in between each event, I actually say out loud what I am getting ready to do next. It is so easy to carry over whatever happened most recently into what you are getting ready to do, so take a minute to speak it. “Okay, it has been a crazy day and I am going to enjoy some time with my wife”, “Time to have a meaningful 1:1 meeting with Joe”, “Now I will spend some time with Jim. I know he has been dealing with a lot lately”. I am not sure of the science behind it, but something happens when we speak it out loud.
My hope is that as I move through this crazy life, I can be more present for those I interact with daily. As I have matured, I have learned that it is very gratifying to care about others and leave them feeling, even for that moment in their day, they were important, and they were heard. Now, my Apple Watch is telling me it is time to Stand, and I must get all the circles in the activity tracker complete today. I hope this is beneficial and that we can all be more present in our daily lives.