A Cool Coach
Think of a time when you lost your “cool”. A time that you let your emotions control you and you somehow reached your boiling point and went off on someone. A co-worker, a subordinate, maybe a family member. Now think about what led to that. Not an excuse, just what led to the unfortunate event. Most times, we do not just snap out of the blue. Especially as leaders or managers. Usually, there is a series of events that lead us to a point where we lose it, and we end up handling situations emotionally instead of professionally.
It has happened to me too. I am still embarrassed about the way I handled some management situations in the past. I still think about some scenarios and how easily I could have handled them differently. At the time, I was completely unaware that I was the one with the issue. Not the employee.
Seneca wrote “there is no vice which lacks a defense, none that at the outset isn’t modest and easily intervened-but after this, the trouble spreads widely. If you allow it to get started, you will not be able to control when it stops. Every emotion is at first weak. Later it rouses itself and gathers strength as it moves along-it’s easier to slow it down than to supplant it”. In other words, when we observe something that we believe is not correct, we have an obligation as a leader to address it quickly. Before it “spreads widely”. The employee who is late, day after day. The person who misses production goals or who doesn’t wear the proper uniform. It could be any small thing, but over time, if it is not addressed, eventually you will reach a point where you are forced to address it and the outcome could be catastrophic.
After a very unpleasant and embarrassing management experience in 2016, I decided that I was not going to let this happen again. I realized that I needed to adjust my management style and I did. Yes, it was too late for that situation, but I would never again coach a team member from a place of emotion. Below are some simple steps I have followed, and they have led to numerous well thought out and valuable coaching conversations with many team members since.
1. Communicate Expectations Clearly
As a leader, we have a responsibility to our employees to provide them with clear expectations for every area of their job. People do not like surprises so make sure you have a detailed onboarding process documenting all expectations.
2. Forget Favoritism
Yes, we will always have employees who are a joy to work with and some who will be a struggle. After we communicate expectations, we must hold each of them to the same standard.
3. Coach Quickly
When you watch a football game and the quarterback throws an interception, what do you see happening when the quarterback leaves the field? Yes, the coach meets them on the sideline, and they discuss the play immediately. The coach does not wait until the quarterback throws 2 or 3 interceptions. They deal with it right then.
4. Genuinely Care
Some of the best coaching I have received has been from leaders who I had no doubt cared about my success. They wanted me to succeed and it was clear in the way they delivered the coaching. Let the employee know that you care about them and you want them to be successful and that is why you are having the conversation.
5. Ask Questions
Put yourself in their shoes. You cannot assume that you know what they were thinking, or why they did what they did. Let them tell you what the reasoning was and then you can use your knowledge to help them.
6. Be Transparent
No secrets, no surprises. Let the employee know if you are documenting the conversation. Let them know what is expected moving forward. Let them know what will happen if the conduct continues.
7. No Grudges
The thought behind coaching is that it is going to help the employee be better and it is going to help them be successful. Reassure the employee that once this is done, it is done, and it is time to move on.
Leadership is not easy. Nobody enjoys the tough conversations. If we understand the tremendous responsibility we have to the employee, we will not only have these conversations, but we will have them and they will lead to outstanding success.
Jay Graves is a proven leader, building successful teams throughout the past 30+ years. Jay has successfully led teams across multiple professions from military, police, fitness business owner/operator, corporate leader in single and multi-unit/multi-state markets. Jay began writing articles to share with his team leaders as part of his own personal development plan and continues to share his learnings with the desire to contribute to the development of leaders around the world. Jay is a speaker, author, and coach. He recently published his first book, “Line of Departure, Outstanding Starts Here”, which is available on Amazon. To learn more about Jay or to contact him visit www.jayfgraves.com, LinkedIn, or email jay@jayfgraves.com.